cupcake with sprinkles bliss

Grief

Last week was the three-year anniversary of losing my beloved Gramma. I began the day with 7am yoga, followed by an all-day hospice volunteer training at The Washington Home and Community Hospices. I finished the anniversary penning by candlelight with my writing group and sitting in meditation with Le Beau. It felt like the perfect memorial.

Although the effects of loss get easier with time, it remains heavy. Especially beginning the mourning process of Le Pug, my favorite four-legged being {who recently got high marks from his neurologist!}.

Unfortunately, the past few years have been filled with great loss: Gramma, firstborn furry baby Bonnard, Le Beau’s grandma, and now Le Pug’s terminal cancer diagnosis.

The book Grieving Mindfully was a godsend after losing Gramma and I recommend it to anyone who will listen. The nuggets I shared from this book in my April 2012 post continue to resonate. “Grieving mindfully is the process of putting the pieces back together consciously, while appreciating who or what you have lost, who you are, and who you want to be.”

That is something I continue to ponder. Over and over again.

Frozen

Saturday’s snowfall covered the city in a tranquil blanket of white. After yoga, I curled up fireside before settling in for late night work. We were engrossed and around midnight noticed an inch of water covering the hardwood floor. Another water pipe had burst and it was spewing down the hall into our condo.

The evening culminated with a few sexy firemen heroically saving the day {and our belongings} by turning off the water to the building at 1am. Nothing like late night visits by men in uniform to keep life exciting. Honestly, I was most disappointed that my fresh copy of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are was now waterlogged. Sigh.

Rest

Yesterday I was forced to cancel my day’s appointments due to an achy body and nausea. Le Beau fed me Saltines and Ginger Ale while I curled up in bed until this morning. Although I’m still not 100%, I’m on the mend.

Grief, loss, and everyday challenges have a funny way of showing up in our bodies. We know that exercise, hydration, good food, and time with loved ones help. Yet sometimes we simply have to curl up in the fetal position, pop Advil, and call it a day.

My consumption of chocolate and sugar in general has risen exponentially since Le Pug got sick. Last week I actually had a breakfast of Thin Mints! I’m not proud. But I appear to be in a sort of survival mode with sugar and sleep as my drugs of choice.

Break

At times like this, it’s important to offer yourself a pass. The to-dos will grow, you may not present your best self to the world, and feelings of stagnation may set in. I know it all too well. Yet I also appreciate hearing, “You need to rest, you’re dealing with a lot, tomorrow’s a new day.”

And YOU, dear reader, are dealing with a lot. Everyone is.

I love this quote, “Be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” It’s a great reminder. Be kind, especially to yourself. And take it one day at a time. I’m right here with you. Bisous. x