To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. — Agnes de Mille
Now that I’m back to the ballet barre and (mostly) recovered from a second hip surgery, I wanted to share with you these fun photos from the festival that I recently received. From the red carpet to the awards dinner to a few professional photos, they bring back such sweet memories.
One funny thing that I’m still shaking my head about is . . . I accidentally posted my dress rehearsal video, not the performance video.
I didn’t even realize it until Julie of Broche Ballet posted the performance videos (click here to see the full show). Once I mustered up the courage to watch mine, I noticed that a few flubs were missing and that meant I’d initially posted the wrong video!
My solo was the fourth number in the roster of amazing dancers and after I performed during the dress rehearsal, I walked back to my seat and cried. And, I’m not a crier. I was so disappointed.
I’d worn a brand new (bought the day before) pair of pointe shoes, my toes were killing me, I missed basic steps that I knew deep in my body, and I’d dedicated so much to bring this 2-minute and 45-second piece to life.
And I was exhausted—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
My teachers Sean (shown in the above photos) and Anne were encouraging and reminded me that the superstition goes “bad dress rehearsal, good performance.” I still had hope, but felt deflated.
The next day started with a Sean private session, I ran through the piece a few times by marking it (while also running the two group pieces, too), and chose a well-loved pair of pointe shoes for the performance. I felt different on the stage that day. I warmed up with roll throughs by the sound guys and was eager to step into the spotlight. Something had shifted.
While the performance (video here) wasn’t everything I’d hoped for (I wanted to hold those arabesques and développés longer), it felt much stronger than the dress rehearsal.
And that’s why I’m like, “how in the world did I post the wrong video and not realize it for six weeks? I mean, it’s a video of a performance that left me in tears?!”
Anyway, you’ll find a photo of my delight below as I heard Julie call my name as the gold winner for the classical beginner division. It meant so much to embrace a reward for all the hard work of the past nine months!
Would it have been worth it if I hadn’t placed? Of course! It’s always worth it to challenge ourselves, to grow, to learn, to be beginners. And it’s also extra magical to feel so purely seen the night before your 50th birthday!
Other posts about the experience: