naive to mindful

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due to a crazy past two days, i haven’t carved out the time to write. i’ve barely done my morning journal writing, although i have been getting up much earlier than normal. you ever have that feeling when you sit down to write and nothing is bubbling up? i don’t think i can claim writer’s block considering it’s only been two days, but i’m finding the same dilemma with my journal.

today in journal class, i brought up this question – do others find that their attention to their journal waxes and wanes. some people looked at me in horror, the instructor said “yes!”

since i’ve been with beau, i’m not that joined-at-the-hip-to-my-journal girl i once was. during painful relationship periods, i’ve carried it around with me everywhere as my journal was my pseudo therapist and way to process. now i do a lot of that processing through beau. however, i still want a strong relationship with my journal. i want us to be closer, more intimate.

our teacher encouraged us to write two half page stories about our day and to illustrate the bottom half. this should be a fun exercise as my journal writing can get rut-like. today i feel . . . i wish i . . . why blah blah blah. i really want this to change. he encouraged us to go from naive to mindful. genius! i want to do that in ALL aspects of my life. how can we go deeper? how can we move beyond “hi, how are you?” to really get to know someone? this exploration and excavation is exciting and scary.

i want to continue the journey from naive to mindful on the mat and in my journal. anyone want to join me?