tranquilosophy: being a beginner

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sent to me today by a friend
there is something invigorating, most humbling, and slightly humiliating about being a beginner. as a practicing yogini for nearly two decades and teacher for 15 years, i have come to feel fairly confident on the mat. sure i’ve weathered many setbacks ranging from injury to surgeries to declined energy and aging, but nothing quite like the challenge of being a beginner. 
tuesday morning i scuttled across the floor like a crab in my ballet 1 class at joy of motion. it was my first return to dance since dabbling in ballet, hip hop, and other classes over the past decade {and always feeling like the odd woman out}. over the past few weeks i’ve been taking barre classes at my gym and, again, struggling to keep up. it reminds me of my days of step aerobics where i couldn’t grasp the choreography and flailed around like a menace. anyone else recall the horror of step aerobics?
on monday night i asked my barre teacher if it would get easier. what i really meant was, “will i always be the worst in the room?,” but i couldn’t bring myself to ask that question. she assured me that it wasn’t meant to ever be easy and that this was good for me to be learning to move my body in a new way mentioning “having been at the top of my game for years.” 
um, top of my game is a grand overstatement, but i know what she meant about being used to and comfortable with a certain style of movement. 
alas, i will continue to put myself out there and expand my body and mind’s horizons {despite feeling like a crab}. i know it’s good for me. i recognize that it pushes my comfort zone. and i know it enhances my compassion for beginners who cross my path as a teacher. 
hip hip hooray for new experiences on the barre, on the mat, in the kitchen, and in life. where can you be a beginner this year? try it, i think you’ll like it. bisous. x