tranquilosophy: one year later

love notes
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 embroidered cupcake tea towel
 delivering flowers to gramma
 quick afternoon hike in wichita mountains
 embroidered button heart tea towel
final evening in oklahoma curled up with le pug + somerset life

today marks one year that my gramma has been gone.

i came home to spend the anniversary with family and it was special to visit her grave this afternoon. it’s been a tough journey of healing as i’ve openly shared on this blog.

what’s surprised me the most is how much energy the grief process takes. it literally sucks energy from the system. i remember waking up many days in 2012 unable to move. literally feeling encased in concrete.

on the other hand, it helps open eyes to transition and making the most of every day. there is always a silver lining. somewhere. deep down.

although gramma had 99.5 years on this earth, i still feel she was taken much too soon and have a twinge of envy when i see grandmotherly love posted by online acquaintances. i miss her kisses terribly.

my journey home at this time has been one of healing, immersing myself in days of creativity (hello embroidery), and getting more rest than one should need. grieving takes time. it takes energy. and it feels like the world is moving in slow motion while you’re treading through mud. the whole experience is surreal. and part of life’s cycle.

i picture this journey similar to a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. the metamorphosis takes patience, time, and energy. after the deep grieving process you emerge with wet wings and a little wobbly, but ready to explore life in a brand new way.

i’m grateful for this exploration. although i wish i had a 100.5-year-old gramma to do it with me or at least cheer me along. onward and upward. with an angel sprinkling fairy dust on us all. bisous. x