woo-hoo today is the official 10-year anniversary of my first date with le beau. i got excited and announced it yesterday on facebook but the 22nd is the real deal. hard to believe i sipped bubbly {him, two beers} one cold january night a decade ago and we clicked.
we met online {a bit risqué in those days}, lived across the street from one another, worked within two blocks of each other, and possessed a similarly odd sense of humor and wanderlust. and i believe that odd sense of humor is a secret to our longevity.
as a former serial one- to two-year relationship girl, getting past the two-year mark has been, well, eventful. i mean, i’ve spent 1/4 of my life with this guy, we have three “sons,” and run a business and non-profit together. he left his non-profit attorney world to join the tranquil space team six years ago and somehow we’ve made that work. yes, i’m his boss {although he requested no more annual reviews} which has it’s own set of perks and challenges.
honestly, i credit our longevity to him. he’s the adult. the patient one. when i throw a tantrum and say, “i’m done talking!” and climb into the back of the camper with arms crossed to pout {as may have happened once on tranquility tour}, he reasons with me as only a mature individual can {i admit, not my finest moment of mindful communication}.
he tolerates more than is imaginable. from living in a tiny pink home with white furniture and three black-haired pets, to holding funerals for a dead goldfish in the backyard {when his law school buddies were in town}, to visiting pig sanctuaries and withstanding demands of adopting our own, to driving my bum 11,500 miles across the country in a vintage camper, to falling in love with our new rescue kitten despite not being a “cat guy.” the list goes on and on. give this man a medal.
what i’ve learned over the past decade is how to meld my unconventional world with another human being. our key strengths include: saying “i love you” multiple times a day, distributing responsibilities {ex. he has litter box PM duty, i have AM duty}, believing our pug is the center of the universe and everything he does is pure perfection, somehow being on the same page with many world views, having separate and mutual passions {ex. him, biking; me, yoga; us, travel}, openly sharing vulnerable feelings, making dates a priority {ex. we love documentaries, dining out, travel, events at the kennedy center, hosting dinner parties}, and being supportive during challenging times {ex. when my beloved gramma passed away two years ago, he was my rock}.
is everything perfect? no. perfection is bland. oh, and unattainable. just friday we were having a discussion about eating habits when he shared his view and i replied, “well, your view is dumb.” we laughed as he noted how happy he was that we were able to be respectful despite our differing views. again, he’s the adult. i use words like “dumb.”
ready for some savvy sources? peruse these 10 keys to a successful romantic partnership by lifehack. i loved each of the keys. also, studies show relationships {romantic and otherwise} contribute to our well-being and here’s a piece by pbs and gallup business journal you may enjoy. explore these 10 ways to nurture your relationship from psychology today.
my best relationship advice? don’t strive to fit a square peg in a round hole. find your fit. it’s out there. and it may just be as close as across the street. bisous. x
